Do you have a hard time saying “NO”? Many of my clients have a hard time saying no. This creates a problem with relationships as a person who can’t say no draws people to them who take advantage of them. No, according to Dictionary.com, is a negative used to express dissent, denial, or refusal as in response to a question or request. I personally don’t think of yes and no as being positive or negative, same as I try to see my experiences. God is not pro or con; God is law! There is not good or bad if we learn from it. Yes and no basically mean I’m in or I’m out. When someone makes a request of me I need to be sure of my answer because it requires action I may not want to take.
When I say yes I am most often willing to help joyously. while no separates me from further action. When I get requests for help I ask myself am I helping them or enabling them to not meet their own needs. I have been sorry for saying yes much more than I have been sorry for saying no. When I say yes I am committed. If I say no and change my mind I have not lost face. I use to hold many a resentment from being taken advantage of. The resentment was not toward the individual that took advantage of me but me for allowing it. Most of the time if I take time to evaluate my decision I tend to make much better decisions.
It is not always easy saying no. Many times I may want to help someone but either it is outside my ability or I feel I am doing them a greater disservice in saying yes than no. Most people will grow exponentially if they are given the chance to find their own way out of their dilemma. When I evaluate my motives I often find that I am brushing my Ego when I say yes. If I say yes, I pray I am able to help someone achieve a goal that is beneficial to their life, business, family or future and they are willing to carry their share of the weight. I will usually make the right choice of yes or no if I continually remember…
Your Life is PERFECT!
Dr. Randolph Ek, Mpsy.D.