Dictionary.com defines infatuation as to inspire or possess with a foolish or unreasoning passion, as of love. Most people are originally attracted to someone through infatuation. We are attracted to looks, sexual prowess, strength, wealth, stature or even unknown attraction. The problem is that most people get married before the infatuation can be replaced with a mature respect. When the infatuation subsides they say they are no longer in love.
True love never goes away. Love is permanent. I love everyone! I don’t, although, like everyone. When I give talks on relationships I stress that compatibility is longer lasting than “in love”. Falling in love is always more infatuation than true love. Generations ago, courtship was common. It took years to get to know someone, their family and their habits. The more you have in common, the less you will fight. Almost everyone can handle ten to fifteen percent disagreement but when compatibility grows to twenty percent or more the relationship is bound for disaster.
Infatuation is primarily emotionalism, which is not a solid foundation for any relationship. My wife is a beautiful, intelligent, talented and loving woman. I was never infatuated by her as we began our relationship as friends and we have nurtured that friendship for over thirty-one years. I love my wife more now that I did in the beginning. I was terrified to say “i Do,” thirty one years ago but would say it today without hesitation. My past negative experiences have been replaced with positive experiences. If you want a long term relationship try to convert all infatuation to true love. If you want to know what is and isn’t infatuation remember…
Your Life is PERFECT!
Dr. Randolph Ek, Mpsy.D.